Question 1

What is therapy all about?

Accepted Answer

Individual therapy is a chance to explore, with a trained, objective person, your past experiences, current patterns, emotions, and behaviors and how they affect your life.  This can mean exploring and identifying symptoms of anxiety (excessive worry, runaway thoughts, tension in the body), how those symptoms may be impacting your success in a relationship, and what can be done to make changes.  This can mean engaging in EMDR to reduce distress experienced from past traumas or hurts in order to stay present at your kid's band concert. This can also mean managing negative automatic responses so you can stay present and fully hear what your supervisor is asking of you.

Question 2

Why therapy when I can just talk with my friends or family?

Accepted Answer

Therapy is not here to replace family and/or friends!  I'm so glad you have those resources and supports.  And, choosing to work with a therapist can be another support.  Therapists are trained, credentialed (by state boards), mental health professionals who have strong ethics and boundaries.  This mean they are present to hold your story, your individual needs, and respond and coach based on evidenced based practices.  Therapists are objective folks with whom you can explore and practice tough topics, potentially gaining new insights or receiving a more helpful response.  A therapist priorities you, or you and your relation in couples/relational services, and your needs. There's no need for guilt of "taking up time".

Question 3

What can I expect at my first individual session?

Accepted Answer

The first therapy session is often called an intake.  It's where the therapist will ask about or confirm already provided information about your history, experience with symptoms, and your goals for therapy. They may reiterate policies around payments, scheduling, and communication as well as provide details around the pros/cons of therapy.  It's also a time for you to ask your therapist questions:   What if I don't really know what I'm doing here? How do you plan to utilize EMDR in my care?  Can my dog come to sessions? What do you think about birds?  Can my partner join sessions sometimes as they just do not get the stresses of my job?

Question 4

Why might couple therapy be something to try?

Accepted Answer

Couple Therapy, or couples' therapy, also can be referred to as relational therapy, is there to address concerns that exist within and between individuals in a relationship.  There may be ineffective communication happening or a loss of connection.  Perhaps one individual is struggling with substance use or chronic symptoms of some kind and the unit needs support navigating help and recovery.  There may be sexual or intimacy concerns to be addressed in a dedicated space.  Goals in couple therapy tend to be to increase effective communication, increase intimacy and connection, gain and maintain mutual understanding of expectations/role/responsibilities within a family unit, or, sometimes, the goal is to effectively, and kindly end the relationship.

Question 5

What should I/we expect in the first couple therapy session?

Accepted Answer

Expect the first session to last 55-90 minutes. I will ask both parties to tell me more about themselves as well as what brings you all to therapy. I will ask each of you your views of the relationship, how you met, past big events, and what you hope to gain from this time.  This can be a somewhat uncomfortable time as I'm asking some vulnerable questions and I am likely a stranger to you.  This first session does not require the details of everything, just your willingness to be present.  And, know we will not solve any major concerns at this initial meeting.  It's an information gathering space and a time to start planning. Know relational/couples therapy is not always recommended.  This initial session may also explore alternative supports and resources if needed.

Question 6

As a first responder, what are some other resources for me?

Accepted Answer

Here are some supports and resources for folks within Minnesota and Wisconsin:
-988: National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. Call or text 988.  You have the option to "press 1" to be connected with the Veteran's line as well as "press 3" to be connected with staff trained in supporting LGBTIQA+ folks.
-Safe Call Now: is a confidential, comprehensive, 24-hour crisis referral service for all public safety employees, all emergency services personnel and their family members nationwide. https://www.safecallnowusa.org/ (https://www.safecallnowusa.org/) or call 1.206.459.3020 
-MnFire: providing tools for MN's firefighters to protect their health. https://mnfireinitiative.com/ (https://mnfireinitiative.com/)
-Professional Firefighters of Wisconsin. https://pffwcf.org/fire-fighter-support/ (https://pffwcf.org/fire-fighter-support/)

An intersting book to look into, if reading is your thing, Good Cop, Good Cop: A Get Healthy, Stay Healthy Guide for Law Enforcement by Brian Casey.

Question 7

What are books you recommend for someone exploring their own mental health and wellness?

Accepted Answer

So excited you asked!

The Chemistry of Joy , by  Dr. Henry Emmons, M.D., offers explanation and anecdotes related to symptoms of depression, as well as interventions of diet, exercise and mindfulness to find some relief.
The Chemistry of Calm, is much the same as the above book, but looking at anxiety.
Come As You Are, by Dr. Emily Nagoski, PhD in health behavior. This is a wonderful sexual health and wellbeing book geared towards folks who identify as female.  And, there is a chapter in here about the stress cycle everyone could benefit from reading.
Laziness Does Not Exist, by Dr. Devon Price.  This book shines a light on the myth of laziness and our cultures emphasis on hustle over wellbeing.  Like many of these other books, it's filled with relatable anecdotes as well as action steps of folks are encouraged to do different. 
My Grandmother's Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies by Resmaa Menakem (a Minnesota mental health provider and resident!). This book is for all folks looking to navigate racial trauma held in their bodies.  It's filled with body based exercises to explore and practice as well as narratives for those of use who identify with privileged populations as well as those who do not. 
Trauma Stewardship: An Everyday Guide to Caring for Self While Caring for Others, by Laura van Dernoot Lipsky and Connie Burk.  This is one for my fellow helpers.  This books offers lots of validating anecdotes to the field as well as tools to care for yourself.
The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind by Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson.  Wonderful, practical  guide to understanding our kid's brain and supporting their development.  This book has a variety of ways to share its information, through narratives, summaries, and comic book style depictions.

Here's a link to my ever growing list using bookshop.org

Question 8

I'm a helper and don't know if I'm past my capacity.  Help?

Accepted Answer

Here is a wonderful tool to get an idea of your level of burnout, secondary trauma, or vicarious trauma.   Once complete, the group provides a summary with tools to use immediately for your situation.  It's free.  https://proqol.org/proqol-measure (https://proqol.org/proqol-measure)or, click the link below.

Helpful Links